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Queer Dating Struggles
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Queer Dating Struggles

Relationships can be complicated and that’s a universal thing. Issues like emotional unavailability and cheating pop up in all types of relationships, but the LGBTQ+ community faces certain issues that are unique when it comes to dating. No matter if you’re queer or just a fierce ally, here are some dating problems you need to be aware of.

Sexuality questions

In general, straight people don’t need to come out of the closet or ask their crush about their sexuality and gender identity. Usually, those things are a given, considering most people are heterosexual. However, queer people have to wonder whether someone they are interested in is gay, bi, questioning, etc. When you hit on someone, there’s a possibility they are not even remotely interested in what you’re selling.

Being in the closet

For a multitude of reasons, some people are still hiding in the closet or choose to never come out. This means you have to hide your partner from your friends and family—something most hetero people don’t have to think about. Many queer people don’t feel comfortable coming out (that’s not our fault) so dating can be complicated and even painful.

Disapproval from family

It’s not a strange occurrence that parents have an issue with their kid’s partner, but being queer brings that to a new level. LGBTQ+ relationships also often have a bigger age difference that bothers the family. Some parents hate their queer child’s partner and even blame them for their kid’s sexuality.

Small dating pool

If you’re a heterosexual living in a big city, you will never reach the end of Tinder. However, if you’re queer, that probably already happened to you. The community is often quite small, so your dating pool is more of a puddle. This crazy problem is unique to queer folk and it never happens to straights given how many of them there are. For this reason, some queer people turn to escorts. Luckily, finding the best escorts and babes is not hard if you know where to look and you can have the time of your life without worries. For queers inexperienced in dating and sex, this can be a life-saver.

Not being taken seriously

Bisexual people particularly struggle with this issue. A straight person is never told that their sexuality or relationship is just a phase or just a fling. Biphobia stems from the misunderstanding (from both straight and gay community) that bis are experimenting, confused and selfish. This prejudice needs to be eradicated ASAP!

Sharing exes

This issue can sometimes be serious and sometimes straight hilarious, but it exists none the less. The queer community is not that big and people often date their friends’ exes or exes of exes. It’s quite common for queer couples to have a mutual ex.

Dangers of PDA

When straight people hold hands or kiss in public, no one pays attention. But queer couples usually have a different experience. People can get mad, stare or even go out of their way to make us feel uncomfortable, unsafe and guilty. The real danger of queer PDA is the harassment that can sometimes even become violent. It’s important to practice safe online dating and be careful about PDA to avoid harassment.


Unfortunately, some people still hate trans folks, sometimes very apparently, sometimes subtly. No matter the shape they come in, transphobes are real and trans people have to deal with harassment simply for being who they are. One form of transphobia manifests itself in people refusing to date them, which is present even in the queer community.

Sex is easy

One of the biggest pros of coming out is sexual liberation. People who grow up full of shame and insecurities often want to make up for the lost time by being promiscuous (not that there’s something wrong with that). Today, sex is easy to get in the queer community, but it often doesn’t lead to the substance we crave. On the other hand, relationships are complicated so many queer people choose to engage in casual hookups instead of meaningful matches.

Regardless of the struggles community faces, it’s still fun to date in queer circles. It’s wonderful to be who you are, and once you manage to find your person, all the issues you had to endure before will be worth it.

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